Today parents are stuck in a widening chasm of isolation. Expectations of what a ‘good parent’ looks are higher than ever. Yet, our support systems are falling away underneath our feet. It is absolutely a systemic issue and they shape the social factors. I was reflecting on my mums motherhood journey. At the age of 21 she was married with two children, a house and worked full time. It seems impossible today but the game was different. She also had a secret weapon - a village. My grandmother lived 30mins away by bus. We’d spend whole weekends as her house at least twice a month. Then there was my aunt. We’d spend nights with her too. Then there were our neighbours who happily took us home with their children after school and looked out for us. Then the outdoors played a role too, something we don’t often consider - the streets felt safe enough for groups of children to play within view of the kitchen window.
The game has quietly but surely changed for today’s parent. The impact is clear - 20% of women experiencing postnatal depression. Suicide is the biggest killer of women during pregnancy and postpartum. Research has shown that women might only get one hour a day to themselves after having a baby. Social isolation is rife at this critical life stage with women spending 9+ hours alone in the day when their partners only get two weeks paid paternity pay. Women are under financial pressure to return back to work after birth before they’re even ready. These are complex issues with multiple causes but the system, in its current form, is making it increasingly harder to raise a family and stay sane. There’s so much to say and so much to fix. Parents aren’t failing their children, the system is failing parents. Couldn’t agree more.
Really appreciate this reframe. The "parents are failing" narrative always felt off to me but I couldn't articulate why until reading this. When policy makers strip away support systems and then blame parents for struggling it's like removing life jackets and wondering why people can't swim. The sticking plaster vs gaping wound comparison is spot-on tbh.
Today parents are stuck in a widening chasm of isolation. Expectations of what a ‘good parent’ looks are higher than ever. Yet, our support systems are falling away underneath our feet. It is absolutely a systemic issue and they shape the social factors. I was reflecting on my mums motherhood journey. At the age of 21 she was married with two children, a house and worked full time. It seems impossible today but the game was different. She also had a secret weapon - a village. My grandmother lived 30mins away by bus. We’d spend whole weekends as her house at least twice a month. Then there was my aunt. We’d spend nights with her too. Then there were our neighbours who happily took us home with their children after school and looked out for us. Then the outdoors played a role too, something we don’t often consider - the streets felt safe enough for groups of children to play within view of the kitchen window.
The game has quietly but surely changed for today’s parent. The impact is clear - 20% of women experiencing postnatal depression. Suicide is the biggest killer of women during pregnancy and postpartum. Research has shown that women might only get one hour a day to themselves after having a baby. Social isolation is rife at this critical life stage with women spending 9+ hours alone in the day when their partners only get two weeks paid paternity pay. Women are under financial pressure to return back to work after birth before they’re even ready. These are complex issues with multiple causes but the system, in its current form, is making it increasingly harder to raise a family and stay sane. There’s so much to say and so much to fix. Parents aren’t failing their children, the system is failing parents. Couldn’t agree more.
Really appreciate this reframe. The "parents are failing" narrative always felt off to me but I couldn't articulate why until reading this. When policy makers strip away support systems and then blame parents for struggling it's like removing life jackets and wondering why people can't swim. The sticking plaster vs gaping wound comparison is spot-on tbh.